This week we’re all about Self Care…specifically about looking after yourself when you’re in the middle of planning your event and ceremony. Why? Because, let’s face it, whatever type of ceremony you are planning, whether that’s a wedding celebration – or the other end of the spectrum – a Celebration of Life/funeral, there are likely to be elements of stress along the way (and for different reasons). You could be so engrossed in the planning of your ceremony that you feel surrounded by it, feeling like you can’t get away from it. A wedding ceremony, for example, commonly has many different elements to think about, research and make decisions on – it’s easy to become consumed by it. A Celebration of Life or funeral, on the other hand, could begin to feel overwhelming as you deal with the grief, loss and other emotions, as you try to plan the very practical arrangements for such a ceremony. So there’s all kinds of reasons why you would want to take care of yourself during those planning processes. Work or full time caring commitments, might mean that planning a ceremony is just ‘something else’ that you need to sort out. on top of everything else.
Self Care is essential!Helen, The Authentic Celebrant
And I know that you know this already, but it’s always worth a reminder…self care is essential! It’s so important that we care for ourselves, and we make sure that we are ok, in whatever it is that we’re doing in life. If we’re feeling good and loving life, we’re far more likely to feel able to make the decisions and take the action we need, to move forward and achieve our goals. Self care is something that quite often gets overlooked. It can be easy to compare yourself to others and justify in your own mind that the person over there is somehow more deserving of taking time for themselves; it’s also easy to get distracted and fill out time with all the things that you feel you ‘should’ be doing, like the ironing, taking the rubbish out, taking the kids somewhere…but it’s really important to acknowledge when things are becoming stressful, and then take action to help yourself and alleviate that stress, rather than dropping self care to the bottom of the ‘to-do’ list.
So, what can we do to care for ourselves?
1 – Make time and space for yourself (I know what you’re thinking …’Helen, making time for myself is much easier said than done”… I get it – keep reading!). It could be that you take a very planned approach and almost create a timetable for your week, so you know exactly which days and times you will have to devote to something for yourself. “But Helen, I struggle to plan what my next meal is going to be, let alone my entire life for a whole week!” – so, just grab any chance you can! It could be 15, 10 or just 5 minutes before the school run, to just sit down….just…sit…down and breathe. It could be that you have commitments where you have to take your children or others to classes – could you find time then whilst they are in their class? For example, I use the time that my daughter is in her weekly swimming class to just sit in my car! I sit in my care…sometimes I read a book, sometimes I listen to some music that I want to listen to! Sometimes I sit in silence and close my eyes for a little while. So whether it’s 2 hours, or just 2 minutes – allow yourself to just be.
2 – Talking & Journaling. – both of these things are great ways to alleviate stress. Talking: calling someone to have a chat (and you might find it useful to call someone who isn’t deeply involved with your ceremony) and downloading all the stuff in your head is a great way to lessen your stress. If you don’t want to call someone, just talking to yourself out loud can do the trick! Journaling: actually writing down what you’re thinking and feeling is a great release. It doesn’t even need to make sense because you are writing just for you – not for others to read or to analyse. It could be as simple as just writing a list so that everything on your mind gets out of your head.
3 – Find your favourite thing to do. What do you enjoy doing? – Sports? (running, swimming, team games), listening to music? reading a book?, taking a bath? (both relaxing in itself, but also a luxury if day-to-day you just don’t have time). It could be that you just find something to do (anything!) that is not related to your ceremony. Use your lunch break (if you have one) to not go on social media looking for suppliers, or checking for the latest trend in flower arrangements. Take a night off so that you and your partner can talk about/do something that’s not related to your ceremony – just watching some trashy TV can be fun and a bit of a change- and it’s only one night. Those suppliers you’ve been looking at aren’t going to suddenly be fully booked overnight, so do yourself a favour- go and do something that you really enjoy!
Want more on Self care?
Coming soon! (by the end of October 2021) – The website will have Guided Audios and Booklets available to purchase for download (and some for free!) relating to reducing stress and anxiety, and other useful tips and support.
I’d love to hear what you do for self care – feel free to share in the comments on this blog and send me a message.
As always, follow and share The Authentic Celebrant on Instagram and Facebook, find me on Google and if you’d like to have a chat you can reach me via Messenger, text, email or the contact form www.theauthenticcelebrant.co.uk/getintouch ; You can also sign up to the newsletter for ceremony tips, advice and ideas on the homepage www.theauthenticcelebrant.co.uk.