Acknowledging Pregnancy Loss Ceremony

Online or face to face Ceremony to support you in moving through your grief – effortlessly hold a beautiful and meaningful ceremony that will acknowledge and honour your loss.

“515 babies were miscarried every single day in the UK”

2018 data, from https://www.tommys.org/Pregnancy-loss-support/pregnancy-loss-statistics

This is a shocking and huge figure but one that demonstrates you’re not alone. Yet, when there is not an option to say goodbye with a traditional funeral, it can feel disorientating and lonely.

An elderly relative, a partner, a friend – losing anyone we care about can be overwhelming and deeply saddening. Losing a baby during pregnancy – at any stage, is no different.

After pregnancy loss, you may be asking yourself questions such as ‘how can I be grieving for someone I never knew?’, ‘ what did I do wrong?’.  Perhaps you’re feeling impatient to move on: How can I get over this loss? Why haven’t I dealt with this already? How am I supposed to move beyond this?. And along with all the questions are the emotions and feelings – feeling numb, disorientated, lost (and entirely likely a whole lot more).

“I get it – I have been there too”

Helen Hobbs – The Authentic Celebrant

Believe me, I get it – I have been there too. That is exactly where I was in 2009. And I know that when I lost my baby, I longed to have a way to mark this ‘event’ in my life – to honour, acknowledge and say goodbye to my baby, even though I had never seen or held them. Because my loss occurred before 12 weeks, there wasn’t an opportunity to have a funeral of any description.

The hospital where I was cared for had their own communal service some months later, in which all women and their families were invited to attend a religious ceremony in the hospital chapel. I attended, because at the time, it felt like the only thing I could do – there seemed no alternative. I found it an interesting experience for several reasons: my husband and I are not particularly religious, so a religious ceremony didn’t sit entirely comfortably with us; the people attending the ceremony ranged from individual couples to seemingly entire families – for me the experience felt disorientating and slightly bewildering as I looked on at others trying to deal with their own emotions;  the other thing about this communal ceremony was that when we arrived we were immediately asked for the name of our baby. This would have been fine if we had actually got as far as choosing one – that one question completely caught me off guard and I wanted to cry straight away (‘how could we not have given our baby a name? was the immediate question I beat myself up with). There is certainly a place for a communal ceremony and there will be couples and families that get what they need from it. It occurred to me after that experience, though, that my husband and I (and many others) would have been better served by a private ceremony.

Why have a Ceremony?

Ceremony and ritual have their origins deep rooted in society, almost since the dawn of time. They are often seen as a rite of passage – a way to mark and honour significant life events.

Holding a ceremony to acknowledge and honour your loss can be a stepping stone to moving through your grief and beginning to reconcile your feelings – in the same way that a funeral does. A ceremony of this nature can be held at any time – whether your loss was two months, two years or twenty years ago

Maybe you already have some ideas about how you would like to mark this period of your life, or you may be feeling lost and long to sit with your grief, at whatever stage you are at, for just a bit longer. Sometimes the only thing that will do is taking tangible action, allowing yourself the rite of passage of having a ceremony – something that reading a book or blog can’t achieve by itself.

Every woman has their own unique experience of loss and I’m here to support you by preparing and delivering a meaningful and beautiful ceremony for you that will acknowledge and honour your baby, in a trusted and authentic way.

By having an Acknowledging Pregnancy Loss ceremony, you will gift yourself an important stepping stone in moving through your grief.

One thing I’ve learned from my own experiences is that some of the most meaningful ceremonies are simple, heartfelt and ‘just right’ for the people at the centre of them. I have been privileged to both witness and be part of that moment for others, as well as having ceremonies for my own significant life events. Ultimately, this has all led to me becoming a qualified Independent Celebrant and more recently I realised my desire to help other women, who have experienced Pregnancy loss, just like I did. By choosing me as your Celebrant, you are giving yourself the gift of freedom of choice for the content, style and location of your ceremony, all safe in the knowledge that it will be delivered in a trusted, respectful and authentic way that is perfect for you.

Acknowledging Pregnancy Loss Ceremony

Effortlessly hold a beautiful and meaningful ceremony that will acknowledge and honour your loss

Every woman, her partner and their baby deserves the formal acknowledgement that a ceremony can bring.

I’ll support you in taking a step forward on your recovery journey, give you a way to acknowledge what has happened and come out the other side knowing you have honoured your baby (and yourself) in a way that is right for you.  I’ll work with you to understand exactly what you would like the ceremony to include (don’t worry if you don’t know right now – we’ll work it out); and I’ll prepare and deliver a meaningful and beautiful ceremony for you that will acknowledge and honour your baby, in a trusted and authentic way. Gift yourself an important stepping stone in moving through your grief.

  • You’ll be able to formally acknowledge and honour your baby
  • You’ll have a ceremony created for you that is beautiful and befitting of your baby
  • You’ll have final approval of the ceremony wording/content
  • Face-to face (where Covid safe to do so) or online ceremony
  • You can rely on a confidential service at all times
  • Conveniently access our meetings online
  • You’ll receive a keepsake copy of the ceremony wording, after the ceremony
Step 1 – Preparing for the Ceremony

Using your story and experience, I will create the wording and content of the ceremony, ready for your approval.

Step 2 – The Ceremony

Your ceremony will be conducted by me, at a location of your choice.

Step 3 – After Care

Experiencing the act of ceremony can be cathartic, but of course the loss remains. We will arrange a mutually convenient time to catch up, following the ceremony, to ensure that you are able to move forward.

Book your ceremony for £375 (single payment) or 2 x payments of £199

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Where would I hold the ceremony?

It could simply be in your garden; you may wish to have it in your favourite beauty spot, or location that means something to you. Or it could be in your local community hall, or other venue. You can choose any location for your ceremony, as long as you have the permission of the land/building owner.

  • How do I know what to include in the ceremony?

In terms of the words – you can rest easy knowing that I’ve got that covered for you. Using the information you provide, I will create the wording of the ceremony – all you will need to do is take a look at the content I’ve put together, before the ceremony, to check you’re happy with it.

In terms of any other elements – such as any poems/readings or other actions, I will support and guide you in making choices, if you wish to have them included. You may prefer to have a very simple ceremony with just spoken words – and that’s absolutely ok.

  • How much of my story and experience do I have to share with you?

The honest answer is: as much or as little as you are comfortable sharing with me. There is absolutely no pressure to share anything about your experience that you would rather not.

Of course I will need to know something of your experience, in order to create a personal ceremony for you and your baby, but rest assured that you will receive a confidential and trusted service from me.

  • My Pregnancy loss was many years ago, can I still have a ceremony?

Yes, of course. No matter how long ago your loss was, it is never too late to hold a ceremony to acknowledge and honour it.

  • Isn’t a ceremony meant for big groups of family and friends?

When we think of a traditional ceremony such as wedding celebrations or even funerals, our experience often tells us that ceremonies have to be attended by everyone we know. But this is certainly not the case. It is entirely up to you how many, if any, guests you may want to invite to the ceremony. A ceremony just for you, or you and your partner, is perfectly ok. Some of the best ceremonies I have been privileged to witness are those that have been small, intimate and ‘just right’ for the people at the centre of it – in this case, you.

  • How can you provide a service that is Covid Secure?

Our pre and post ceremony meetings will be conducted online. The ceremony itself can be held face to face dependant on location (whether inside or outside etc), ensuring social distancing. Protective masks can be provided. A full risk assessment will be carried out, prior to the ceremony, to ensure the safety of everyone in attendance.

Still have questions? That’s ok – just contact me for a chat

You are worthy and deserving of support

A ceremony of this nature can be held at any time – whether your loss was two months, two years or twenty years ago. Only you will know if a ceremony is the right thing for you. If you have resonated with any of the information you have read here, I would say that you will find a ceremony cathartic and meaningful.

If you decided not to have a ceremony, what would you do instead, to acknowledge your loss?

  • Are you tired of feeling the same way every day, unable to start moving forward?
  • Do you struggle to think about what the future looks like?
  • Are you wondering what to do next with how you feel?
  • Do you feel like you are the only one who is thinking about your baby?

Whatever stage you are at in your recovery after pregnancy loss, you are worthy and deserving of the support and stepping stone through your grief that a ceremony can bring.

Imagine how you might feel after the ceremony – a certain level of peace, having been able to acknowledge your loss?; Finding some hope for the future?; A sense of having done the right thing by you and your baby?; The sensation that the weight on your shoulders is not quite as heavy as it was before?

It’s my mission to support every woman in moving into a feeling of peace and I understand the significance of bearing a loss like this. Holding a ceremony can provide a mechanism for stepping towards peace and moving beyond your pain, whilst giving your emotions and your baby’s loss the honour and acknowledgement it deserves.

I’m here to support you by preparing and delivering a meaningful, authentic and beautiful ceremony for you that will acknowledge and honour your baby, in a trusted and confidential way. gift yourself an important stepping stone in moving through your grief.

Acknowledging Pregnancy Loss Ceremony

Effortlessly hold a beautiful and meaningful ceremony that will acknowledge and honour your loss

Book your ceremony for £375 (single payment) or 2 x payments of £199

Still have questions? That’s ok – just contact me for a chat

Would you like to find out about other Pregnancy Loss services? Read about the Moving Towards Peace After Pregnancy Loss coaching support.